Gma

My grandma (my mom's mom) keeps getting put in the hospital. She gets a lot of fluid in her lungs and then she can't breathe and then they have to deal with her congestive heart failure. I feel terrible for her. I know she's miserable. My mom was always the one to drop everything and take care of her or my grandpa whenever they get really sick (which is ALL the time - one or the other is always sick). Now that my mom isn't around to take care of them, they don't have that immediate care that they're used to. Sure, my grandparents have other kids that could take care of them, but they don't live anywhere near. My grandparents live 2 hours from me - they moved to Sun City Grand up in Surprise about a year ago, just after my mom died. Back then, we lived in our other house in Tolleson, which was only about 45 minutes from them. They moved because they felt like I was orphaned and wanted to come down to take care of my little family and I, along with my brother. But my brother lives in Mesa and now I'm in Queen Creek, so we don't see them as often as we'd like to. Plus, with the prices of gas, I don't have an extra $50.00 to go & see them all the time. And my grandpa definitely should not be driving, he's a crazy scary driver! Anyways, I was talking to Tony the other day and was telling him that I'm really not up to having another family member die. Having someone die that you're close to takes a lot out of you. Meaning, when my mom died, I felt drained of all energy for months. I couldn't sleep, I was exhausted all the time. Emotionally wiped out. But thankfully I had my two sweet kids to remind me that they needed me to have energy for them, they needed their mom, even at a time that I was mourning the loss of mine. At the same time, having lost my mom, I feel like I can face any challenge that may come my way. I've been thru a lot the past 10 years and have become stronger for it. I'm grateful for my trials because they've shown me what I'm really made of. Time and time again, I've proven to myself the strength of my own testimony. Losing my hubby or my children would be trials that I won't ask for, nor can I imagine this life without them, but because of what I've already endured, I know that I could endure those too, with a lot of encouragement, guidance, patience and love from my Heavenly Father.

I hope my grandma at least makes it to November. My aunt & uncles are putting on a nice 50th anniversary party for G&G at the Point at South Mountain (nice hotel for you non-AZ people). It's going to be a grand celebration and I know that she is really looking forward to it. Hang in there Gma, just until November and then you're free to go & join my mom, your daughter, in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father. I know you miss her desperately, but please hang in there just a few more months. Nevertheless, you're in Heavenly Father's hands.